The Most Fun a Girl Can Have
by SheeWolf85
Summary: Entry for the Fun With Your Clothes On contest. J/N O/S. Jake and Ness are at Ness' boring family dinner when Jake gets an idea to make things more interesting. Rated M for mature content.


**Fun With Your Clothes On One-Shot Contest  
Title:** The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off  
**Your pen name: **SheeWolf85**  
Characters:** Jake/Nessie**  
Disclaimer: **Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Not me. Sad face, I know. Beware of the almost-sorta-lemons.**  
To see other entries in the Fun With Your Clothes On Contest, please visit the C2 page:  
**www(dot)fanfiction(dot).net/community/Fun_With_Your_Clothes_On_Contest/79678/

_A/N: This is not, in any way, based on the song by Panic! At the Disco. I just really liked that title, so I stole it. Also, it's all human._

~*~

Renesmee Cullen sighed and leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand as her elbow rested on the long dinner table in front of her. She looked around the table as everyone carried on their conversations about the stock market or the latest fashion trends as they delicately munched on their caviar and wine.

She felt her mother's stare and turned her eyes to the woman with the brown hair and eyes to match. She mouthed the word 'elbow' and put her own elbow on the table only to demonstrate how Renesmee should remove it. Renesmee sighed again put her arm down; sitting up like the proper girl she was raised to be.

"Bored?" Jacob asked. She turned to look at her boyfriend sitting next to her. He was leaning back in his chair, looking casual even in the tuxedo he'd been all but forced to wear for this dinner with Renesmee's family. His hands were clasped together over his stomach, his thumbs circling each other.

Renesmee nodded. "Incredibly. I warned you that these stupid dinners can last for eons." She sighed again and tried to lean forward without getting her hair in her untouched caviar. She still didn't know how anyone could eat it. Even Jacob didn't eat his, and he usually ate anything. She wondered briefly why her family couldn't just have a relaxed dinner at home. It was the twenty first century already; it wasn't like they were living in Victorian times with corsets and antique cigarette holders.

Jacob chuckled and rubbed her back lightly. "Don't worry about it. It has to end sometime. Then tomorrow I'll take you to a barbecue down by the beach and we'll really have fun."

Renesmee smiled and nodded. "That does sound fun."

She and Jacob had been together for nearly a year and she loved the laid-back mood of the barbecues Jacob and his friends would have much better than the staid, uninteresting mood of these family dinners. Everything had to be perfect at these dinners, even down to the way each person dressed and ate.

The first time she had invited Jacob to have dinner with her family was by request from her mother, and she was nervous at first that Jacob wouldn't pass whatever test her parents would undoubtedly give him. But Jacob had surprised Renesmee and her parents by showing off perfectly refined manners. Renesmee asked him about it later and he told her that he really wasn't as feral as most people assumed him to be. She felt bad after that, knowing she had assumed things about him simply because he didn't grow up in the swanky family she did.

Jacob reached forward and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, saving it from a narrow fate of caviar and bringing her back to the present. She sat up straight again and smiled at him.

"Hopefully soon we'll have the main course and we'll be able to actually eat something. Then it won't be so boring." She sighed again and leaned over, resting her head on Jacob's shoulder.

Jacob kissed the top of her head. "I'm sure we could find a way to make this fun for you. At least not deathly boring."

Renesmee looked up at him. "How? That's not even possible."

Jacob shrugged and looked around the table. Renesmee's parents, Bella and Edward, were sitting together as Edward talked to Renesmee's uncle Jasper and grandfather Carlisle about some new trend in the stock market. Bella was engrossed in an apparently lively conversation about pants with Renesmee's aunt Alice and grandmother Esme. Renesmee's other aunt and uncle, however, were not joined in any conversations. Emmett was playing with Rosalie's blond hair as she told him about something that happened at work. Emmett was listening, but his eyes were straying to Rosalie's chest every now and then. Rosalie smiled and kissed Emmett.

Jacob turned back to Renesmee and contemplated taking a lock of her auburn hair, but decided against it. She was picky about her hair and had told him already how it took nearly an hour to get it styled the way it was. Instead, he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"Nobody's paying any attention to us. We could make out and nobody would even notice."

Renesmee rolled her eyes and smiled. "I'm sure. You're forgetting one thing, though." She turned to look at Jacob and raised an eyebrow.

"What's that?" Jacob leaned a little closer to her.

"Aunt Alice. She helped me with my hair and makeup and she'd notice if any part of my makeup was smudged by making out. Trust me."

Jacob furrowed his brow; she was right. Alice was almost as threatening as Renesmee's father with her deceptively cheery attitude. Jacob knew that somehow, that woman could kill someone with a glare. If she suspected her niece was up to any dubious activities with her boyfriend during the family dinner, Jacob was afraid he'd lose something important to his manhood. Still, the idea of the challenge was intriguing.

"If we played it right, we could probably get away with it." He smirked and kissed her cheek.

"Not making out, we couldn't."

Jacob sighed; she was right again. "Something else then."

She raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

He shrugged and thought about what he could do to Renesmee without getting caught. "It would have to be something that didn't have a lot of obvious contact. I couldn't give you a backrub or anything; they'd notice that."

She smirked. "Anything we do has obvious contact."

"Not if they couldn't see it. Under the table or something." He shrugged, not paying too much attention to what he was saying as he whispered his thoughts out loud to her.

"Under the table, huh? You think you're going to get something under the table?"

He met her eyes sheepishly, expecting her to be angry or offended. Instead, he saw curiosity and amusement in her eyes. He smirked and kissed her shoulder. "Actually I was thinking I could give you something under the table."

Her eyes lit up with excitement at the possibility of what he was saying. "You wouldn't dare. If we were caught, Jacob, you wouldn't just get kicked out of here. We'd be lucky if we ever saw each other again." She bit her lip; the threat of what could happen made the thought of his touch even more thrilling.

"That's why we wouldn't get caught." Jacob smiled and leaned back in his chair, looking around the table again. Nobody seemed to have noticed their whispered conversation, too involved in their own conversations to pay attention. He met Renesmee's eyes and smirked again.

Renesmee noticed the way nobody paid attention to her and Jacob as well. She scooted her chair closer to him so they were nearly touching. Bella looked over at them and smiled when Renesmee laid her head on Jacob's shoulder. Renesmee smiled back and looked up at Jacob when Bella turned back to her conversation.

"Are you sure about this, Jacob?" she asked, winding her arm under his.

"Only if you are, Renesmee. If you really don't feel comfortable, I won't touch you. But I really think I could get away with it." He kissed her forehead and put his hand on her knee. She glanced around nervously, but nobody looked her way. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"I think you can, too. I guess I'm just nervous. But I think that's making it more appealing too, you know?" She looked up at him again and he smiled.

"Yeah, I know." He kissed her lips gently and slid his hand up her leg slowly. She gripped his arm and looked up at him with wide eyes as his fingers eased their way between her legs. She licked her lips and parted her legs slowly, hoping to give him enough room to work.

"We need to make sure we don't make noise or show too much reaction and make anyone suspicious. Try to relax and just rest your head on my shoulder, okay?"

She nodded and licked her lips again as she took a deep breath and laid her head back down on his shoulder. She looked around the table, seeing everyone but feeling far apart from anything else in the room as Jacob's fingers moved further up her thighs. She closed her eyes and struggled to hold in her gasp as his fingers finally reached the top of her thighs. Her dress had bunched up under his fingers and the amount of fabric between his fingers and her body prevented her from feeling much, but she could still feel the light pressure as he caressed her. She wished he could just remove the dress and touch her without anything between them, but this was part of the excitement.

She opened her eyes again and watched her parents talk about boring things but concentrated on Jacob's fingers on her. She licked her lips again and looked up at him. He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead, his fingers pushing harder against her.

"How is this?" he asked softly.

She took a deep breath and whispered in his ear. "It feels so good, but I wish there was less between us." She gave him a look with wide eyes and saw the lust in his.

"Me too. Maybe we can figure something out."

Just as Jacob moved his hand away to try to go under dress, they were interrupted by servers who came in with the main course of the meal. He pulled his hand away completely and kissed her once more before she sat up straight. She smiled at the waiter when he set her plate in front of her and sighed, hoping they would leave and everyone would get into their meal so she and Jacob could continue.

The waiters left and Renesmee gave Jacob a curious look as he cut his chicken up. He just smirked at her. She smiled back and picked up her fork to start on her own plate.

A few minutes later, she felt Jacob's hand on her leg. He leaned into her and whispered in her ear.

"Just act normal." He kissed her cheek and sat back up. She nodded as she cut a piece off and put it in her mouth. Jacob ate with his left hand as he slowly and carefully pushed her dress up and pushed his hand under it. She shivered lightly as his fingers grazed the skin of her inner thighs, moving up slowly. She spread her legs again, taking another bite and trying to pretend that her boyfriend really wasn't feeling her up.

His fingers cupped her body causing her to suck in a breath. She glanced up at him quickly and smiled before turning back to look around the table. Everyone was eating and carrying on their conversations, some the same as before and some different.

Jacob began rubbing her gently, amused and aroused at how wet she was. Her panties were damp and he decided then that he was going to try to make her orgasm. He just hoped she could be quiet about it so they didn't get caught. He watched her face as he moved his fingers with more pressure against her. Her eyes closed for a minute and she stopped chewing, her body jerking slightly. She licked her lips and tried to be discreet about moving her hips once. He smiled and moved his fingers faster.

"Oh!" Renesmee gasped when his fingers found her clitoris. Conversations stopped as well as Jacob's fingers and she opened her eyes, realizing how loud she'd been. She blushed deeply and cleared her throat, thinking quickly. "Wow, this chicken is amazing!" She said, trying to match her enthusiasm from before.

Jacob coughed and quickly took a drink to keep from laughing. The silence lingered for another beat before Carlisle stepped in.

"It is very good," he commented, taking another bite. Everyone seemed to agree and Renesmee heard a conversation about the recipe start up as she looked up at Jacob. He smiled and kissed her.

"Good thinking," he whispered, starting to move his fingers again. She tried to smile but closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath when he touched her clitoris again. She opened her eyes and took another bite, trying desperately to keep her sounds quiet, but her passion was building as Jacob's fingers brought her closer to an orgasm. She wanted to tell him to stop or slow down, but she couldn't. Her body needed this and she knew she just needed to breathe and concentrate to avoid any more mistakes.

Somehow she managed to finish her chicken without crying out again and she leaned over to put her forehead on Jacob's shoulder. She allowed herself a few heavy breaths before she turned her head and looked out around the table again. She licked her lips and gripped Jacob's arm tightly, glancing up at him.

Jacob smiled and kissed her forehead. The look in her eyes told him that she was getting close and he was impressed with how quiet she was being. No matter how cool she tried to act, though, he could feel her fingertips digging into his arm through his sleeve and he could see her back and shoulders tensing. She closed her eyes and licked her lips again, her body jerking slightly. She clenched her teeth but let out a huff of breath, her legs involuntarily pushing together.

Renesmee looked up at Jacob, her eyes pleading with him. Her gut tightened and her fingers dug into his arm harder.

"Jacob," she whispered, clenching her teeth again. He leaned in and kissed her ear.

"I'm not stopping until you're done," he whispered, moving his fingers faster. He looked around the table and noticed a few people finishing their meals. He hoped she got done soon or she might have to wait to finish. He wanted to make her orgasm but if people started looking this way he was going to have to stop. He looked down at her and she pushed her face into his arm, her grip nearly becoming painful. He pushed harder and moved faster, causing her to buck her hips. She licked her lips again and looked up at Jacob, knowing she was about to come. She met his eyes and her body jerked again as she sucked in a breath as silently as she possibly could.

Jacob loved the look on her face as she came for him. Her thighs quivered as her body jerked again and she licked her lips, her eyes never leaving his as she finished.

Renesmee sat up straight and Jacob took his hand back as meals were finished and conversations began picking up more. She took a deep breath and smiled at Jacob. He smiled back and kept contact with her eyes as he lifted his right and tasted his fingers. She raised an eyebrow, wondering briefly if he was trying to turn her on again.

Servers came and took away the plates while others came and delivered the dessert to each person. Renesmee smiled at the whipped cream on her slice of coconut pie and dipped her finger in it. She looked right at Jacob as she slowly licked her finger before sucking on it. Jacob licked his lips and squirmed in his chair, trying to get more comfortable. He was aroused anyway after what he'd just done to her, but her display with the whipped cream made him impossibly harder.

"Dig in, Renesmee," Emmett said. Renesmee looked over at him and smiled. He smirked back and raised an eyebrow. "Hopefully it's as orgasmic as the chicken was."

Renesmee blushed and nearly choked, taking a drink and hoping she wasn't over-obvious about her embarrassment.

"Emmett," Esme chided, "let the girl eat her pie and leave her alone." Esme smiled encouragingly at Renesmee and turned back to her husband.

Renesmee looked up at Jacob, still blushing. "Do you think we were caught?" she asked.

Jacob shrugged. "I don't know, honestly. How fast do you think Emmett would kill me if he knew what I just did?"

She bit her lip and looked over at Emmett, talking to Rosalie. "Honestly I don't know. He might know and not care. Or he might just be teasing me like he's always done." She took a deep breath and picked up her fork. "Oh, well. I guess if he knows he's not too upset or he'd show it."

Jacob nodded and started eating his pie. A few minutes later, he felt her hand on his knee and smiled.

"Can I?" she asked, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I'd love that, Renesmee, but remember that mine are messier than yours. Am I going home right after this?"

She pouted a little and sighed. "No. But when we get home, Jacob… You just wait." She narrowed her eyes like she was threatening him and he took her hand in his.

"I love you Renesmee," he whispered, kissing her cheek.

She smiled and kissed his lips quickly. "I love you too."


End file.
